Funny story : banana vendor and electricity office manager

Outside the Electricity Office !!
One🍌Banana vendor
was selling Banana..

Electricity office Manager-
Whats the price of Banana?

Vendor -
Let me know where u'll use ?

Manager - what do u mean? ! ! !

Vendor-
If u are taking
To Temple then its
Rs 10 per kg
To Orphanage
Rs 15 per kg
For school childrens
Rs 20 per kg
If u take home
Rs 25 per kg
And
For restaurant
Rs 30 per kg.....

Electricity officer- How can this be ..
All banana are same
Then why the difference in price?

Vendor -
This is my tariff plan...
Even you people give electricity from the same pole,..but u charge different tariffs for home, shop, factory, etc etc

Electricity office manager still in Coma

😛😛

Bank Robbery - Interesting Story

There was this robbery in Guangzhou , the robber shouted to everyone: "All don't move, money belongs to the state, life belongs to you".

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.

This is called "Mind Changing Concept --> Changing the conventional way of thinking".
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One lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her "Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional --> Focus only on what you are trained to do!"
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When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (who is only primary school educated), "Big bro, let's count how much we got", the older robber rebutted and said, "You very stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience --> nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications!"
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After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor says "Wait, wait wait, let's put the 5 million RMB we embezzled into the amount the robbers robbed".

This is called "Swim with the tide --> converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!"
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The supervisor says "It will be good if there is a robbery every month".

This is called "Killing Boredom --> Happiness is most important."
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The next day, TV news reported that 100 million RMB was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million RMB. The robbers were very angry and complained "We risked our lives and only took 20 million RMB, the bank manager took 80 million RMB with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold !"
-------------------------------------------------

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his loss in the CINOPEC shares are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity --> daring to take risks!"

Who is Smart - Doctor or Enginner - Read Funny Story

Funny but Important Story - Management Lessons - Boss doesn't Know What he is doing

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 PM, when he found the CEO standing infront of a shredder with  piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen" said the SEO, "This is very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work ?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper and turned on the start button.

"Excellent, excellent", said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside machine, "I just need one copy "

Lesson : Never, never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

Funny Incident but Smart Kid

A Man was seated next to a kid in an airplane, The man turned to him and said, "Let's talk".
Kid : Ok, What do we talk about ?
Man : (Making Fun of Kid) how about Nuclear Power ?
Kid : Very Interesting topic.But Let me ask you a question.
Man : Ok, go ahead.
Kid : Horse, Cow and Deer all Eat Grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty and horse clumps. Why ?
Man : I Don't know
Kid : Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don't know shit ?

Ramayan - Summary in Hindi

 *संक्षिप्त** **रामायण*
 पूरी रामायण बीवियों की कहानी है.
लक्षमण अपनी घर पर छोड़ कर चला आया.
रावण दूसरे की उठा के फँस गया.
हनुमान की अपनी थी ही नहीं मगर दूसरे की ढूँढने में सारी लंका जला डाली.
राम को अपनी वापस लाने के लिए दस दिनों तक युद्ध करना पड़ा.
वापस लाकर भी उसे क्या मिला?
एक धोबी ने अपनी बीवी को वापस घर में नहीं लिया,
तो राम ने अपनीवाली को out कर दिया.
और अंत में क्या हुआ?
जिस बीवी के कारण यह सब रामायण घटी, वह underground हो गयी.
अब यह सोचो: अखा झमेला हुआ ही कायेको?
क्योंकि दशरथ की तीन बीवियां थी.

Funny Story - Indian Hell

Do u have a Girlfriend? [Interview]

Story I

E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle
down here permanently. And my Company don't
want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.



Story II

E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a
girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This
personal
issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!


Story III

E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My
company is
dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.


Story IV

E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.


Story V

E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper" !
(Job
hoper lah!)


Story VI

E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is
dealing
with money and you will seduce.


Story VII

E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to
employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect
your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!